Stupid is as stupid does...

So all was relatively quiet until about a month ago when MS decided to run away FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHATSOEVER. Well, actually she told the police officer that she ran away because she never wanted to come back to her dad’s house since we are mean abusive tyrants. When he told her- that’s too bad- you have to go, she decided to threaten to ‘off’ herself if she was forced. So we all called her bluff on it and had her admitted. She didn’t like that very much seeing as they wouldn’t allow her boyfriend or her psycho grandparents to visit or text. She fessed up a few days later that she didn’t really mean it and that she was talking stupid. Big surprise there.

So, as we are getting our lives dissected by child protective services, she went home to Sybil’s compound where she is not reprimanded, scolded and none of her privileges are removed… AWESOME. Fast forward to the last week or so and we learn that Sybil decided to file bankruptcy and we ended up getting slapped with a judgment for medical bills on the girls we knew nothing about. How fun.
She’s due with her 5th child anytime and she is still living in her parent’s basement while engaged to the father of the baby who can’t seem to sell his tiny 2 bedroom lake house to buy her that big fancy 4 bedroom one. Rumor has it he’s having second thoughts. Lord help him if he marries her…oh what am I saying… he’s already hosed since she’s got a bun in the oven.

On the upside, Sybil’s brother (a firefighter) was arrested recently for tainting his wife’s tea with his anti-depressants (what an idiot.) She’s a detective and noticed after she gave her 4 year old a drink that he spit some out and had white residue around his mouth. They had been arguing about his excessive spending and he admitted to putting half a lexipro in her tea to calm her down. (Mom and child are fine BTW) So the family is probably a little embarrassed and defensive. (Crunch Crunch Crunch- this popcorn is good! On with the show!)

Did Hell freeze over? Sybil apologized?

Tueday we get an email from Sybil:

“Norm,
What time will you be dropping Mini-Sybil and Mini-Norm off on July 4th?
Sybil”

Not exactly sure why she even poses the questions since we made sure every exchange is laid out in detail and signed by God himself but hey- we’ll bite! And we’ll even be ‘cooperative’ and accommodating.

“Sybil,
I believe the order states 10 a.m.- did you need them at a different time? I presume you will be dropping them off then on Sunday at the same time then.
Norm”

Her response- out of left field AND in a different hemisphere!

“Norm,
Actually the order states 9:00 a.m. You made a big deal about me "changing" the time to 9:00 from 10:00 last holiday instead of asking for a change, which wasn't accurate. All of the holiday schedule days are ordered for a 9:00 a.m. exchange time, except for Christmas and New Years, unless we mutually agreed to a change. We've agreed to each holiday exchange time through an email and made arrangements according to each of our plans. Since the 4th of July might be a later night with fireworks, I thought that 10:00 would work out better for Mini-Sybil and Mini-Norm so they could sleep in. The next day exchange would be the same time that they were dropped off. Does 10:00 a.m. work for you or should we do the exchange at 9:00 a.m.?
Sybil”

Neither Norm nor I have any freaking idea what she is referring to. There have been about a million unfounded arguments but none of them played out as she has stated above. Clearly the dilutions are getting worse …poor thing.

"Sybil,
Every single holiday is 10 a.m. so I don't know what you're talking about. See the attachment which is a scanned copy of the amendment from the order that was attached when we signed it on Feb 19th, 2008. You may want to get a copy from the court house if you don't have it or recall seeing this or contact your attorney. I'll be dropping them off at 10. and will expect them at 10 a.m. on Sunday.
Norm"

Here’s the attachment- with obvious modifications to protect the innocent and not so innocent…plain as day…10 a.m.




"Norm,
I have the holiday schedule posted inside my cabinet door, but I have to apologize because it is the holiday schedule for my kids with Mark. The GAL assured me that they would be exactly the same, so I went off just one. After reviewing Mini-Sybil and Mini-Norm's it appears to be different (10:00 a.m. instead of 9:00 a.m.). I will expect them at 10:00 a.m. on Saturday and will drop them off at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday.
Sybil"

That last email is getting framed.

Sybil Saga as of Today

So, after the child support hearing, things settled down a bit from a legal standpoint although Sybil was still wreaking havoc consistently everywhere else. Her inappropriate behavior somehow making its way into our home through the girls is, to say the least…a bit unsettling. Throughout her and Marks divorce proceedings we became advocates for Mark and as a result became very good friends with him and his family. We were of course accused of intentionally ganging up on her because we filed around the same time she and Mark were going through their divorce. It truly was a cooincidence even though Mark’s family somewhat encouraged us to go for it. Mark and Sybil had two children – one boy and one girl. The boy is a couple years younger than NM and they’ve become great friends. We don’t expose MN and MS to their former step father and we don’t really talk about him because they’re obviously going to have loyalty to their mother and we respect that.

It was discovered that Sybil was having an affair with another man while she was married to Mark, we’ll call him B3 (a/k/a Back Burner Boy.) This guy was a player she met at a local music festival. Somewhat of a bad-boy who was into extreme sports and lived primarily in Colorado so that he could live near the slopes for snow boarding. They were totally in LOVE of course and the kids adored him. His biggest faults were that he didn’t live close and he wasn’t independantly wealthy. MS had access to his Myspace page that had very inappropriate pictures of Sybil dressed provocatively as a school girl, in a bubble bath with him, licking him and in a teddy. It also contained inappropriate messages from her mother to him telling him to “see what’s in her box” on his birthday. So needless to say we were not impressed. I actually shot him and email because we discovered that he and Sybil were ‘getting it on’ late one night when they were all trashed in Sybil’s parents studio basement apartment she was living in with all the kids there. MS was on the computer while this was going on and complaining to one of her friends about her mom’s behavior. Unbeknownst to me – we found out later that the guy she was ‘getting it on’ with wasn’t B3 –it was ANOTHER GUY (we’ll call him Hobbs). OOOPS! My bad. So B3 responded like a month later claiming Sybil was the greatest woman on earth and the best mother despite her indescretions etc. etc. and that we should stop attacking her. PUKE! I responded with a nice lengthy email that he had no clue what the f*ck he was talking about and that I wished him and Sybil the best.

Throughout the last year she has been stringing B3 along from afar while dating Hobbs here and the kids all know it. Her and Hobbs get into a little spat and she flys off to Colorado to be with B3 for the weekend. A little birdie told us a few months back that Hobbs was fueding with Sybil because she was pressuring him too much to get married. Low and behold B3 is in town and staying at her place in her parent’s basement during this time. B3 goes back to Colorado and Hobbs is back in the picture and they’re looking for a house together. It’s absolutely insane that neither of these guys know about each other but it’s not our problem right? Just wish it wasn’t affecting the kids so much though you know?

Well, all has been quiet for the last few months and it seems that her and Hobbs are engaged and buying a house. Well- Hobbs is buying the house FOR Sybil that is. Hopefully she will stick with this guys and there will be a little more consistancy in the girls’s lives now. This morning I get an email from B3- “I’m really interested in talking to you- I’m tired of Sybils BS- she totally played me” I responded “Seriously? Why on earth would I trust you and I’m not interested in whatever your agenda is.” I have enough drama in my life- I so don’t need this. I suppose I brought this on myself because I opened up the original line of communication but …GOOD GRIEF! Apparently B3 proposed to her back in February - she said yes and now won't take his calls. All the while sporting a ring from Hobbs and planning their new life together. She's such a ROCK STAR!

I should just get 'SUCKER' tatooed on my forehead :-(

But have I learned a lesson from it? ABSOLUTELY. I will NEVER AGAIN just hand cash over to MN and MS with the task to go pick out some decent and affordable summer clothes.

Over the course of the past year of FINALLY having the girls shared placement we have dedicated a healthy amount of time toward teaching them the much needed skill of spending wisely and being very cost conscious. Sybil marries men for money and when she milks them dry she leaves them for someone that has more. It's a simple fact at this point so I won't beat around the bush. The girls have learned from watching her over the years and know nothing of financial limitations, budgets or restrictions. It's amazing how fast they can burn through cash. I recall the first time I took them seriously shopping. They would bring me something and say "can I get this?" and I would respond "How much is it?" And they had no idea and didn't think it mattered or was important. Since then we give them guidelines - $15-$20 for a pair of jeans is reasonable, $50 is not (unless they shrink your thighs, turn your ass into a 'happen'en onion' and make you look 2 sizes smaller - then price is no object but they don't need to know that.) ALWAYS ALWAYS go to the clearance rack first and work your way out of the store. T.J. Maxx., Marshall's, Ross etc. are your friends and Abercrombie is only for when you have a gift card. We don't have a budget for full price brand names so neither do they.

As I stated, over the past year they were getting a lot better. Making the right decisions....UNTIL.....I trusted them with $300 in cash ($150 a piece) to get summer clothes last weekend. We were crazy busy and I didn't have time to take them. I told them "Here you go, be wise, and make it stretch."

They mentioned a few things they got when we crossed paths the next day. "Oh I got some skirts (MS is in a short flirty skirt streak) and MN got some jeans." I was like "What?" she giggles and I figured I must have misunderstood. The next morning they're getting ready for school and sure shit MN has new frayed/worn look ABERCROMBIE jeans on that she rolled up mid calf. I was like- "Those your new jeans?" She's like "yeah you like em?" I said- "That's not summer clothes- how much do you have left?"...she responds "I dunno." as they scurry out the door.

I AM FREAKING TICKED. So I dart up to their bedroom, all the bags sitting there empty- not a price tag or receipt to be found. They are back to square one with me now. I need to babysit their every freaking purchase now. What a huge disappointment.
GRRRRRR…….NEVER AGAIN.

3 Freaks, 2 cars, 1 stepdaughter...Priceless

In an email back in late January after being asked if she was willing to go in on a car for MS, Sybil stated that she could not afford to. Then when being asked if her parents (psychotic- overindulging freaks) were giving or buying MS a car she said ‘No’. MS may be able to drive one of theirs for after school stuff but that’s it.

So, we proceeded to search for a reasonable and dependable vehicle for MS, found one, bought it and told her that it was our car but she would be using it to get back and forth from school etc. while she was with us. Since it was in our name, we couldn’t very well let her use it when she wasn’t under our supervision (Sybil lets her do just about anything she wants.) So we decided we just can’t expose ourselves to that type of liability issue.

So Sybil’s psycho parents have given her a car to use all the time-even while she’s with us. Interesting how we are informed of this AFTER we have already purchased a vehicle for her to drive. So YAY for MS- now she is one of the rare and elite teenagers who have two vehicles at her disposal. Ugh. Now comes the issue with insurance. We insure her on our end for the jaw dropping –eye popping astounding amount of $1100 per year (why do I feel like I have just been violated?) And so I presume that they (Sybil and her agents) will be doing the same??? Hmmmm. Seems pretty silly huh? I’m checking with our agent to find out if there is a ‘partial placement’ discount. I’m guessing NOT.

Is it wrong of me to think the Sybil and her parents did this intentionally? Yes…there really ARE dumb questions.

Sybil’s maddening entitlement issues

As a stay at home ‘mom’ –and I use that term very loosely with this woman…one would think Sybil would be a little more appreciative of the fact that Norm has such great health benefits. Now- there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that Sybil needs to stay at home anymore since all her children are in school but that's a whole nother issue. There has been a constant battle since the beginning of Norm and Sybil’s split about uninsured medical expenses- co pays and the excess in which the insurance company doesn’t cover. Which, btw is typically minimal unless of course you’re a serious hypochondriac with Munchausen by proxy tendencies (Sybil to a T). Sybil tends to drag MS and MN to the doctor for every little cough or sniffle…demanding they run tests and take x-rays etc. It has frustrated us beyond reality that we’ve had to pay for half of medical expenses almost solely due to her extreme behavior.

Lately (over the past year or so) to add insult to injury, she has actually complained about the “fact” that she has to pay for half of OUR family deductible. I am quite certain her anti-Christ-like parents have planted this load of crap seed in her puny brain because everyone knows she’s not smart enough to have come up with this on her own. The irony about the situation is this – out of the 5 individuals of OUR family that the deductible covers- MS and MN go to the doctor the most. Me, Norm and Normonster are rarely sick much less go to the Dr. It only makes sense that she’s going to be paying for half of the deductible since she drags them to the Dr all the time.

Looking at the big picture- she should be so grateful that Norm’s insurance coverage is still so good. She should feel pretty f-ing lucky he has a job at all in this economy to support her lazy ass. Instead she has to bitch and wine that she’s getting the short end of the stick. This is just ONE little teeny tiny example of how she feels entitled and like the world and especially MY HUSBAND owes her.

I want to be JUST LIKE HER when I grow up. ((((shudder))))

MS's 'surprise' Sweet 16 party

So the horrible, neglectful and selfish Norm and I took a vacation to Mexico over Spring Break. We haven't taken a vaca together just the two of us for over 3 years and since prices were right we jumped on it. MS's 16th birthday happen to fall on Easter Sunday and so we missed it...BUT we took her and her sister and friend to a hotel and they got to swim and celebrated with family etc. Oh yeah and we bought her a car.. nothing much.

We got back and before we got the girls we had already heard about MS's sweet 16 party. Sybil and her psycho parents rented a hall, had her invite 75 of her closest friends, invited every relative they could think of and had a FORMAL party for her. When I mean formal, it was Formal dress required. We know Sybil's aunt and she told us she was mortified when she showed up in a nice pantsuit to be extremely underdressed. A cousin of theirs we know refused to go because she was not renting a tux for her husband and buying a new formal gown for her second cousins birthday party.

Come to find out MS...who is a sophomore...didn't get asked to Prom (which is a Junior Prom BTW) so her extremely loving and supportive mother came in to save the day by giving her ...her own prom. This is the same woman that can't afford to pay her bills , nor reimburse us for bills we've paid and is filing bankruptcy and her dad lost his job a while back. I can't wait to see what they'll do for her if she doesn't go to her Junior Prom...although then again, She'll BE a Junior so she'll just go with friends.

Man, I sound bitter. Hmpf..oh well.

Mini-Sybil and the act of Sexting

We received a call last Sunday from the father of a boy who was apparently Sexting with MS. Many of the ‘messages’ involved pictures. (Blech- I reviewed them this morning.) I honestly can’t say I’m surprised in the least. Despite our constant monitoring of her online activity, her cell phone has been a bit more challenging since she deletes all incoming and outgoing messages as soon as possible. Sybil’s parents are the cell phone providers so we can’t destroy them or cancel them and once she leaves our home it is immediately given back to her despite her behavior (I am certain the most recent behavior will have no impact on this ritual either.)

Sadly, she is mimicking her mother’s behavior almost to the letter. Last Summer- through MS’s Myspace we discovered she had access to her mother’s boyfriend’s MySpace account (follow me there?). His account had a buffet of inappropriate content much of which involved her own mother. Since Sybil is absolutely worshiped by her daughters, especially MS, it was pretty much inevitable that she would follow in her footsteps with the grand desire to “be like Mom.” That, has now come to fruition.

The boy’s parents are none too happy with him, and want to meet so that he can apologize to us. MS will be mortified…as she should be. Should be an interesting weekend.

I’m going to go though up now.

Sybil Saga (part V)

So, WWII actually consisted of a series of small battles- most which we won. First and foremost- and most critical was to ensure that the Custody Evaluator from WWI was reassigned to the case. This woman was pretty much on the fence the last time around put felt compelled to leave things in the hands of the therapists in hopes that they would keep the best interest of the girls in mind. Unfortunately, she was mistaken and the therapist had only themselves in mind. This time around…by golly she was going to make it right (and maybe save face a bit too) and make sure the girls were not left behind.

Victory number 2 was GAL (Guardian ad Litem) selection. Our attorney made a recommendation as to a very experienced GAL who would do it at a discount. Her atty made a recommendation as to someone that favored mothers…and the judge went with our recommendation. He ended up being very down to earth and relied a lot on the Custody Evaluator’s recommendation given her familiarity with the case. He was older and not overly impressed with Sybil and her antics unlike the green, pompous, jack ass we had the first time around who thought Sybil was mother of the year.

Battle number 3 was to get a temporary order in place. It had been years since we had had an increase in placement and it was long overdue. Sybil was adamant that the girls couldn’t handle an increase in their ‘fragile’ state and they would regress and it would do nothing but damage. Unfortunately due to the bullshit involved with legal antics and Sybil’s antics she was able to stall any temporary orders by “willingly” negotiating toward a settlement. During this timeframe, her attorney (and friend) withdrew and filed a judgment against her so she ended up representing herself.

The settlement was reached –of course on the morning of the first day of trial (a.k.a. at the very last possible moment so as not to allow us any additional time with the girls prior.) It basically came down to money for Sybil. The fact that she had no representation and had no money for a new attorney and that the Judge was not going to postpone trial any longer backed her into a corner and forced her hand. That was almost exactly a year ago today.

The stipulation consisted of incremental placement increases in a stepwise manner (that I basically wrote up) to be increase to shared placement within 3 months time. At that time, child support was to be adjusted according to the state guidelines. That- the GAL wrote up, was way too f-ing vague. At that time I think it was safe enough to put a set amount in place but hindsight is 20/20. 3 months later Sybil was less than cooperative to settle on the child support adjustment so it was off to court yet again. To add insult to injury, her and Mark’s divorce was well underway and she was raking him across the coals financially. She ended up getting a ton from him and still getting a ton from us when we had the girls half the time.

She could of course afford to hire an attorney again so she lawyered up to battle the child support issue (which was more important to her anyway.) The biggest argument was of course whether or not income could or should be imputed. Sybil had agreed to an imputed wage during her settlement with Mark so we felt it was safe to use it with our calculation- She and her atty of course didn’t think so. Add to it that she was getting alimony –which is considered income. She and her attorney argued that it could not. At the end of the day, we had an overly sympathetic judge to Sybil’s cause. She did retro the modification so we calculated what she owed us and she’s still in the process of paying us back and child support was cut in half. What amazed me about this last trial were some of the last words I heard Sybil speak. When asked why she had not gotten another job, she actually got on the stand and under oath stated as sadly as possible to the judge and to my attorney “I…sniff sniff, have no potential.” My jaw dropped as it registered in my brain and proved to me as to the lengths she would go and levels she would stoop, to be totally and completely financially supported by someone else. How could my husband ever have found this woman attractive? I will never know.

Sociopath or Seditious

Mini-Sybil is my 15 year old step daughter. By far she is the most damaged and brainwashed by Sybil and her clan. They have fed her so much garbage that that’s all she knows in addition to her possibly having a chemical imbalance that has been addressed, she is very weak, insecure and doesn’t have the highest IQ. I’m not trying to be mean…I’m simply stating what I know. We knew going into this that she would be our biggest challenge because she has gone to the dark side, but so far it’s been ok.

The definition of OK in this situation is this: She is sweet and kind and respectful to your face. Acts very innocent and doesn’t push the envelope verbally or behaviorally when she’s with us. She goes online via facebook or myspace and the real MS shows up. It’s loaded with profanity, sexual context – sometimes highly sexual, and inappropriate comments.

Recently my car was vandalized to the tune of over $3K in damage. My only enemy is Sybil’s father-MS’s grandfather. He has harassed, threatened and intimidated me before. He was suspected of slashing our tires (3 different cars) in the same night after an argument with him. His wife called my work twice trying to get me fired. Suffice to say I am their #1 target. So when the police asked me who I suspected –I stated Sybil’s dad. We did not tell MS and kept her out of it because it’s none of her business. Sybil’s Dad on the other hand tells MS that we’re falsely accusing him and trying to get him in trouble. She gets angry at me and starts bashing me online calling me a F-ing B!tch. I find it, we lecture, she refuses to apologize and she is now grounded from the computer, her cell is taken away. She continues to act nice and sweet to my face and I am being immature and pretty much giving her the silent treatment.

In the past she has acted out like this. We were driving somewhere and she said sh!t instead of shoot. I called her on it. She denied it as though I didn’t hear it with my own ears. I argued with her and told her not to insult my intelligence. She proceeds to text her friend what a F-ing B I am and how she hates me and how she’s going to shoot me. She mistakenly sends the text to me. She gets busted and continues to treat me like I’m the greatest stepmom.

I know a little about sociopaths and she certainly has the make up for it – but is it really or is it just good old fashion teenage defiance….I used the think it was the latter…now I’m not so sure.

Constant Claiming

No…not Constant Craving.. the lovely song by K.D. Lang about - I don’t craving something. I’m speaking of Sybil’s act of constantly claiming she’s either A.) going to get a job or B) going back to school to get her degree.

The claim that she is going to get a job is then followed by the excuse that her hours of availability to work are so limited because she has to run her children around all day to appointments and such. Now, mind you 90% of the ‘running around’ she insists that is required of her is self induced. One may ask how this is possible. I have an answer.

First, she has entitled her children in such a way that they insist on going to a school district that she no longer lives in. She has made little effort to move back into that school district and so they need to be driven to school on her days. The older ones (MS & MN) are dropped off at school in the morning at 7:15 for a 7:30 school time. Then the second set of children are dropped off at 8 and then 9 a.m. (these two are from Mark - her second husband.) Then, her children are picked up from their schools at 2:30, 3 p.m. and whenever the littlest one is finished with pre-school. She absolutely refuses to entertain the idea of changing school districts because “that’s not what they want.” And she refuses to look into before or after school care for the littler ones.

Granted- I will admit she’s in a predicament because of the economy now but she had ample opportunity over the past year to get a job, but she has not tried nor does she want to. This is the same woman that less than 8 months ago paid plenty of money to fight us tooth and nail for more child support than she legally deserved. She actually sat on the stand and stated on record “I have no potential” in the saddest little voice you’ve ever heard. Well, I beg to differ. There are still plenty of jobs out there that she is fully capable of doing but she is entirely too busy trying to secure her next victim who will financially take care of her. THAT is why she has no time to get a job.

The claim to go back to school…is a joke. The first time around she broke down because she couldn’t handle being so far away from her family and it was ‘too hard.’ The second time she was too busy making babies to make her grades. So what, the third time will be a charm? Hmmmm. Something tells me- it ain’t happn’en.

Sybil Saga (part (IV)

As we pulled into the long uphill driveway (with a sign called Hotrod Hill) we were debating on if we should bring the 3 huge binders full of “documentation” we have gathered against Sybil in with us. We figured we might as well. It was a huge house- you couldn’t really tell as most of it was hidden but we knew from the bragging the girls had done throughout the relationship. It felt strange, being on enemy territory…expensive enemy territory and being painfully reminded of the reasons why we lost the first battle. Mark’s sister (Mandy) greeted us at the door with an enormous smile as she hugged me. I thought “oh shit- we’ve got huggers here” but it ended up being just her.

Looking back I can understand a bit why she hugged me. We had had the “coming to Jesus” conversation on the side after we had agreed to meet over the phone where I asked “why in the hell should we trust you and your family?” Pretty much in those exact words. She was understanding of our position and very humble. We e-mailed back and forth prior to the meeting a few times about miscellaneous stuff which also explained the hug- in the process discovering that we had a lot in common. We sat down at the huge dining room, pulled out our first monster binder and started hashing out some of the crap we had been dealing with and trying to get to the bottom of things. Many of our suspicions were confirmed: that she would intentionally dodge our calls (with the girls knowing), bad mouth Norm to them, ask leading and accusatory questions about us, essentially discourage them from going to school and enable the shit out of them. If fact we found out that Sybil had been paying MS to stay home from school and watch the other kids while she would go hang out with her new boyfriend. Made us a little ill to be honest but it wasn’t like we didn’t know what she was capable of but... We also learned that she was accusing Mark of some pretty wicked stuff to include physically abusing MS. None of which we believed an ounce of – we’d been the subject of too many of her allegations that it made it impossible to believe a thing anymore.

At the end of the meeting there were apologies and understandings. We had made the decision to file again but we were going to try it on our own first and pull our attorney in later if needed. I wrote up the motion and the affidavit. Had Norm sign it, I filed it and personally served her myself. Can’t deny I took a bit of pleasure in that. A week or two later she retained an attorney- a “friend” of hers that was a parent of one of MS’s friends. She contacted us to try to “mediate” and hopefully come to an agreement without having to go to court. We laughed and explained to her that there is no way Sybil will agree to anything more than what was currently in place and that she did not understand the concept of ‘compromise’ but we were willing to give it a shot nonetheless. We met with her, she drew up an agreement that her own client wouldn’t sign even after she had verbally agreed. She refused to admit her own client was being unreasonable and started flinging mud which is when we retained our former attorney...and then WWII started.