Monday, February 16, 2009

Sybil Saga (part V)

So, WWII actually consisted of a series of small battles- most which we won. First and foremost- and most critical was to ensure that the Custody Evaluator from WWI was reassigned to the case. This woman was pretty much on the fence the last time around put felt compelled to leave things in the hands of the therapists in hopes that they would keep the best interest of the girls in mind. Unfortunately, she was mistaken and the therapist had only themselves in mind. This time around…by golly she was going to make it right (and maybe save face a bit too) and make sure the girls were not left behind.

Victory number 2 was GAL (Guardian ad Litem) selection. Our attorney made a recommendation as to a very experienced GAL who would do it at a discount. Her atty made a recommendation as to someone that favored mothers…and the judge went with our recommendation. He ended up being very down to earth and relied a lot on the Custody Evaluator’s recommendation given her familiarity with the case. He was older and not overly impressed with Sybil and her antics unlike the green, pompous, jack ass we had the first time around who thought Sybil was mother of the year.

Battle number 3 was to get a temporary order in place. It had been years since we had had an increase in placement and it was long overdue. Sybil was adamant that the girls couldn’t handle an increase in their ‘fragile’ state and they would regress and it would do nothing but damage. Unfortunately due to the bullshit involved with legal antics and Sybil’s antics she was able to stall any temporary orders by “willingly” negotiating toward a settlement. During this timeframe, her attorney (and friend) withdrew and filed a judgment against her so she ended up representing herself.

The settlement was reached –of course on the morning of the first day of trial (a.k.a. at the very last possible moment so as not to allow us any additional time with the girls prior.) It basically came down to money for Sybil. The fact that she had no representation and had no money for a new attorney and that the Judge was not going to postpone trial any longer backed her into a corner and forced her hand. That was almost exactly a year ago today.

The stipulation consisted of incremental placement increases in a stepwise manner (that I basically wrote up) to be increase to shared placement within 3 months time. At that time, child support was to be adjusted according to the state guidelines. That- the GAL wrote up, was way too f-ing vague. At that time I think it was safe enough to put a set amount in place but hindsight is 20/20. 3 months later Sybil was less than cooperative to settle on the child support adjustment so it was off to court yet again. To add insult to injury, her and Mark’s divorce was well underway and she was raking him across the coals financially. She ended up getting a ton from him and still getting a ton from us when we had the girls half the time.

She could of course afford to hire an attorney again so she lawyered up to battle the child support issue (which was more important to her anyway.) The biggest argument was of course whether or not income could or should be imputed. Sybil had agreed to an imputed wage during her settlement with Mark so we felt it was safe to use it with our calculation- She and her atty of course didn’t think so. Add to it that she was getting alimony –which is considered income. She and her attorney argued that it could not. At the end of the day, we had an overly sympathetic judge to Sybil’s cause. She did retro the modification so we calculated what she owed us and she’s still in the process of paying us back and child support was cut in half. What amazed me about this last trial were some of the last words I heard Sybil speak. When asked why she had not gotten another job, she actually got on the stand and under oath stated as sadly as possible to the judge and to my attorney “I…sniff sniff, have no potential.” My jaw dropped as it registered in my brain and proved to me as to the lengths she would go and levels she would stoop, to be totally and completely financially supported by someone else. How could my husband ever have found this woman attractive? I will never know.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Sociopath or Seditious

Mini-Sybil is my 15 year old step daughter. By far she is the most damaged and brainwashed by Sybil and her clan. They have fed her so much garbage that that’s all she knows in addition to her possibly having a chemical imbalance that has been addressed, she is very weak, insecure and doesn’t have the highest IQ. I’m not trying to be mean…I’m simply stating what I know. We knew going into this that she would be our biggest challenge because she has gone to the dark side, but so far it’s been ok.

The definition of OK in this situation is this: She is sweet and kind and respectful to your face. Acts very innocent and doesn’t push the envelope verbally or behaviorally when she’s with us. She goes online via facebook or myspace and the real MS shows up. It’s loaded with profanity, sexual context – sometimes highly sexual, and inappropriate comments.

Recently my car was vandalized to the tune of over $3K in damage. My only enemy is Sybil’s father-MS’s grandfather. He has harassed, threatened and intimidated me before. He was suspected of slashing our tires (3 different cars) in the same night after an argument with him. His wife called my work twice trying to get me fired. Suffice to say I am their #1 target. So when the police asked me who I suspected –I stated Sybil’s dad. We did not tell MS and kept her out of it because it’s none of her business. Sybil’s Dad on the other hand tells MS that we’re falsely accusing him and trying to get him in trouble. She gets angry at me and starts bashing me online calling me a F-ing B!tch. I find it, we lecture, she refuses to apologize and she is now grounded from the computer, her cell is taken away. She continues to act nice and sweet to my face and I am being immature and pretty much giving her the silent treatment.

In the past she has acted out like this. We were driving somewhere and she said sh!t instead of shoot. I called her on it. She denied it as though I didn’t hear it with my own ears. I argued with her and told her not to insult my intelligence. She proceeds to text her friend what a F-ing B I am and how she hates me and how she’s going to shoot me. She mistakenly sends the text to me. She gets busted and continues to treat me like I’m the greatest stepmom.

I know a little about sociopaths and she certainly has the make up for it – but is it really or is it just good old fashion teenage defiance….I used the think it was the latter…now I’m not so sure.