Monday, November 1, 2010

The Sybil Saga continued and other musings

Let's see - the last time I posted it was in January of this year- wow, time flies when you're having fun eh? Just when you think things can't get worse, inevitable they do. In February things with the girls' attendance had escalated to the point where the trigger in the order needed to be enforced which included placement changing whereby they would be with us during all school nights. So we notified everyone and sat the girls down to discuss the situation. Lots of tears and anger later the next day they go off to school. A few days later of denied visitation and MS and MN file a restraining order against Norm based 100% on fabricated lies. After one hearing the Judge told the girls, Sybil and their attorney that he saw absolutely no basis and if they didn't withdraw the filing he would throw it out completely. So they withdrew to spare themselves the embarrassment.

This in turn prompted the court appointed GAL to file a counter motion against Sybil because she believed Sybil and her parents were 100% behind the ridiculous RO filings and that the parental alienation was running rampant. Her motion consisted of basically writing off MS and placing MN solely with us with no contact with Sybil and all her family to include MS who is now determined to be one of the ring leaders of this fiasco. The court transferred the case to the Juvenile court because a Child Protection motion was also filed in conjunction. That ended up going nowhere ultimately because the judicial system totally sucks and they felt it belonged in family court so we were essentially then back to square one.

The girls were (and still are) refusing to come, the GAL's license was put on probation for some weird bankruptcy error made back in 2006 so the case has essentially been put on hold until now since it is now reinstated and she's in good standing. I suspect that trial will not occur until probably January if at all. At this point we have completely lost any hope for MS and pray there is still hope for MN. I guess only time will tell.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Conflict avoidance rearing its ugly head again

I hate complaining about my Normy I really do- but I just can’t help it. The situation as of late has escalated to the point where I’m just angry.

I’m a fighter by nature, I fight for what is mine, I fight for those who can’t fight for themselves, I fight for what’s right and good and I fight for justice even when in reality it’s just a myth. This is one quality Norm doesn’t really appreciate about me- most likely because he’s a rather passive man. When things get out of whack with Sybil and the girls I prefer to fight to sustain order and he prefers to ‘let it slide’ until eventually it gets totally out of control. Let me add that his motive for letting things slide are partially driven by fear of MN & MS's reaction and Sybil and her agent’s.

That order has been deteriorating slowly but surely over the course of the last 6 months. For example: Sybil is back to her old tricks of dragging the girls to the Dr for every sniffle in addition to subjecting them to needless medical tests (Sybil has Munchhausen by Proxy tendencies in addition to some hypochondria stuff going on.) The girls both have missed a TON of school this semester- granted some of it is excused (flu related) but the majority is again related to their random stuffy noses and lack of desire to attend class. This was a MAJOR issue in both custody battles as the girls were missing on average 30-60 days of school per year, but I digress. This in turn has caused both of them to receive F’s on their report cards as of late. Add the major bullshit to the minor bullshit and you get a nice sized shit storm. Neither of them have done their chores in MONTHS, MS uses my old car which mysteriously obtained “dukes of hazard slide” type scratch marks on the hood and refuses to even attempt to look for a job to help contribute to insurance and gas.

As of today- Norm has not shared his concern with Sybil about the unnecessary medical stuff, barely mentions the issues with absences and responsibilities, nor did the girls receive any repercussions for their grades. The truancy issue is spelled out clearly in the last court order that if either girls are absent without a written medical excuse from school for a total of 5 days or more they are to be with Norm every school night starting at 8 p.m. and their school district changes to our district (right now they are in Sybil’s district of choice- she doesn't even live in that district anymore but plans to move back).

Only after my massive prompting and pulling out the court order did Norm take the initiative to look up their attendance records online- which shows that MN was absent more than 20 times this 1st semester and MS was absent about the same and almost every day they were absent was during Sybil’s placement times. Now, I’m sure some of it is legitimate but seriously??? Norm is very hesitant to push the issue because Sybil, her parents and the girls will become completely irrational and neurotic. I say bring it on.

The whole purpose of us going back to court was to get the truancy issue under control. They were pretty good about following it last year but old habits die hard. Now that we have this court order clearly spelling out the truancy stuff- Norm won’t push the issue??? I am getting so very very tired of this shit. It was my money too that helped finance this battle – this “investment” in the girls, their future and well being. Without Norm to enforce the rules- I believe this may have been just another bad investment that is providing no return.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Stupid is as stupid does...

So all was relatively quiet until about a month ago when MS decided to run away FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHATSOEVER. Well, actually she told the police officer that she ran away because she never wanted to come back to her dad’s house since we are mean abusive tyrants. When he told her- that’s too bad- you have to go, she decided to threaten to ‘off’ herself if she was forced. So we all called her bluff on it and had her admitted. She didn’t like that very much seeing as they wouldn’t allow her boyfriend or her psycho grandparents to visit or text. She fessed up a few days later that she didn’t really mean it and that she was talking stupid. Big surprise there.

So, as we are getting our lives dissected by child protective services, she went home to Sybil’s compound where she is not reprimanded, scolded and none of her privileges are removed… AWESOME. Fast forward to the last week or so and we learn that Sybil decided to file bankruptcy and we ended up getting slapped with a judgment for medical bills on the girls we knew nothing about. How fun.
She’s due with her 5th child anytime and she is still living in her parent’s basement while engaged to the father of the baby who can’t seem to sell his tiny 2 bedroom lake house to buy her that big fancy 4 bedroom one. Rumor has it he’s having second thoughts. Lord help him if he marries her…oh what am I saying… he’s already hosed since she’s got a bun in the oven.

On the upside, Sybil’s brother (a firefighter) was arrested recently for tainting his wife’s tea with his anti-depressants (what an idiot.) She’s a detective and noticed after she gave her 4 year old a drink that he spit some out and had white residue around his mouth. They had been arguing about his excessive spending and he admitted to putting half a lexipro in her tea to calm her down. (Mom and child are fine BTW) So the family is probably a little embarrassed and defensive. (Crunch Crunch Crunch- this popcorn is good! On with the show!)

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Did Hell freeze over? Sybil apologized?

Tueday we get an email from Sybil:

What time will you be dropping Mini-Sybil and Mini-Norm off on July 4th?

Not exactly sure why she even poses the questions since we made sure every exchange is laid out in detail and signed by God himself but hey- we’ll bite! And we’ll even be ‘cooperative’ and accommodating.

I believe the order states 10 a.m.- did you need them at a different time? I presume you will be dropping them off then on Sunday at the same time then.

Her response- out of left field AND in a different hemisphere!

Actually the order states 9:00 a.m. You made a big deal about me "changing" the time to 9:00 from 10:00 last holiday instead of asking for a change, which wasn't accurate. All of the holiday schedule days are ordered for a 9:00 a.m. exchange time, except for Christmas and New Years, unless we mutually agreed to a change. We've agreed to each holiday exchange time through an email and made arrangements according to each of our plans. Since the 4th of July might be a later night with fireworks, I thought that 10:00 would work out better for Mini-Sybil and Mini-Norm so they could sleep in. The next day exchange would be the same time that they were dropped off. Does 10:00 a.m. work for you or should we do the exchange at 9:00 a.m.?

Neither Norm nor I have any freaking idea what she is referring to. There have been about a million unfounded arguments but none of them played out as she has stated above. Clearly the dilutions are getting worse …poor thing.

Every single holiday is 10 a.m. so I don't know what you're talking about. See the attachment which is a scanned copy of the amendment from the order that was attached when we signed it on Feb 19th, 2008. You may want to get a copy from the court house if you don't have it or recall seeing this or contact your attorney. I'll be dropping them off at 10. and will expect them at 10 a.m. on Sunday.

Here’s the attachment- with obvious modifications to protect the innocent and not so innocent…plain as day…10 a.m.

I have the holiday schedule posted inside my cabinet door, but I have to apologize because it is the holiday schedule for my kids with Mark. The GAL assured me that they would be exactly the same, so I went off just one. After reviewing Mini-Sybil and Mini-Norm's it appears to be different (10:00 a.m. instead of 9:00 a.m.). I will expect them at 10:00 a.m. on Saturday and will drop them off at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday.

That last email is getting framed.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Sybil Saga as of Today

So, after the child support hearing, things settled down a bit from a legal standpoint although Sybil was still wreaking havoc consistently everywhere else. Her inappropriate behavior somehow making its way into our home through the girls is, to say the least…a bit unsettling. Throughout her and Marks divorce proceedings we became advocates for Mark and as a result became very good friends with him and his family. We were of course accused of intentionally ganging up on her because we filed around the same time she and Mark were going through their divorce. It truly was a cooincidence even though Mark’s family somewhat encouraged us to go for it. Mark and Sybil had two children – one boy and one girl. The boy is a couple years younger than NM and they’ve become great friends. We don’t expose MN and MS to their former step father and we don’t really talk about him because they’re obviously going to have loyalty to their mother and we respect that.

It was discovered that Sybil was having an affair with another man while she was married to Mark, we’ll call him B3 (a/k/a Back Burner Boy.) This guy was a player she met at a local music festival. Somewhat of a bad-boy who was into extreme sports and lived primarily in Colorado so that he could live near the slopes for snow boarding. They were totally in LOVE of course and the kids adored him. His biggest faults were that he didn’t live close and he wasn’t independantly wealthy. MS had access to his Myspace page that had very inappropriate pictures of Sybil dressed provocatively as a school girl, in a bubble bath with him, licking him and in a teddy. It also contained inappropriate messages from her mother to him telling him to “see what’s in her box” on his birthday. So needless to say we were not impressed. I actually shot him and email because we discovered that he and Sybil were ‘getting it on’ late one night when they were all trashed in Sybil’s parents studio basement apartment she was living in with all the kids there. MS was on the computer while this was going on and complaining to one of her friends about her mom’s behavior. Unbeknownst to me – we found out later that the guy she was ‘getting it on’ with wasn’t B3 –it was ANOTHER GUY (we’ll call him Hobbs). OOOPS! My bad. So B3 responded like a month later claiming Sybil was the greatest woman on earth and the best mother despite her indescretions etc. etc. and that we should stop attacking her. PUKE! I responded with a nice lengthy email that he had no clue what the f*ck he was talking about and that I wished him and Sybil the best.

Throughout the last year she has been stringing B3 along from afar while dating Hobbs here and the kids all know it. Her and Hobbs get into a little spat and she flys off to Colorado to be with B3 for the weekend. A little birdie told us a few months back that Hobbs was fueding with Sybil because she was pressuring him too much to get married. Low and behold B3 is in town and staying at her place in her parent’s basement during this time. B3 goes back to Colorado and Hobbs is back in the picture and they’re looking for a house together. It’s absolutely insane that neither of these guys know about each other but it’s not our problem right? Just wish it wasn’t affecting the kids so much though you know?

Well, all has been quiet for the last few months and it seems that her and Hobbs are engaged and buying a house. Well- Hobbs is buying the house FOR Sybil that is. Hopefully she will stick with this guys and there will be a little more consistancy in the girls’s lives now. This morning I get an email from B3- “I’m really interested in talking to you- I’m tired of Sybils BS- she totally played me” I responded “Seriously? Why on earth would I trust you and I’m not interested in whatever your agenda is.” I have enough drama in my life- I so don’t need this. I suppose I brought this on myself because I opened up the original line of communication but …GOOD GRIEF! Apparently B3 proposed to her back in February - she said yes and now won't take his calls. All the while sporting a ring from Hobbs and planning their new life together. She's such a ROCK STAR!

Monday, June 15, 2009

I should just get 'SUCKER' tatooed on my forehead :-(

But have I learned a lesson from it? ABSOLUTELY. I will NEVER AGAIN just hand cash over to MN and MS with the task to go pick out some decent and affordable summer clothes.

Over the course of the past year of FINALLY having the girls shared placement we have dedicated a healthy amount of time toward teaching them the much needed skill of spending wisely and being very cost conscious. Sybil marries men for money and when she milks them dry she leaves them for someone that has more. It's a simple fact at this point so I won't beat around the bush. The girls have learned from watching her over the years and know nothing of financial limitations, budgets or restrictions. It's amazing how fast they can burn through cash. I recall the first time I took them seriously shopping. They would bring me something and say "can I get this?" and I would respond "How much is it?" And they had no idea and didn't think it mattered or was important. Since then we give them guidelines - $15-$20 for a pair of jeans is reasonable, $50 is not (unless they shrink your thighs, turn your ass into a 'happen'en onion' and make you look 2 sizes smaller - then price is no object but they don't need to know that.) ALWAYS ALWAYS go to the clearance rack first and work your way out of the store. T.J. Maxx., Marshall's, Ross etc. are your friends and Abercrombie is only for when you have a gift card. We don't have a budget for full price brand names so neither do they.

As I stated, over the past year they were getting a lot better. Making the right decisions....UNTIL.....I trusted them with $300 in cash ($150 a piece) to get summer clothes last weekend. We were crazy busy and I didn't have time to take them. I told them "Here you go, be wise, and make it stretch."

They mentioned a few things they got when we crossed paths the next day. "Oh I got some skirts (MS is in a short flirty skirt streak) and MN got some jeans." I was like "What?" she giggles and I figured I must have misunderstood. The next morning they're getting ready for school and sure shit MN has new frayed/worn look ABERCROMBIE jeans on that she rolled up mid calf. I was like- "Those your new jeans?" She's like "yeah you like em?" I said- "That's not summer clothes- how much do you have left?"...she responds "I dunno." as they scurry out the door.

I AM FREAKING TICKED. So I dart up to their bedroom, all the bags sitting there empty- not a price tag or receipt to be found. They are back to square one with me now. I need to babysit their every freaking purchase now. What a huge disappointment.

Friday, May 29, 2009

3 Freaks, 2 cars, 1 stepdaughter...Priceless

In an email back in late January after being asked if she was willing to go in on a car for MS, Sybil stated that she could not afford to. Then when being asked if her parents (psychotic- overindulging freaks) were giving or buying MS a car she said ‘No’. MS may be able to drive one of theirs for after school stuff but that’s it.

So, we proceeded to search for a reasonable and dependable vehicle for MS, found one, bought it and told her that it was our car but she would be using it to get back and forth from school etc. while she was with us. Since it was in our name, we couldn’t very well let her use it when she wasn’t under our supervision (Sybil lets her do just about anything she wants.) So we decided we just can’t expose ourselves to that type of liability issue.

So Sybil’s psycho parents have given her a car to use all the time-even while she’s with us. Interesting how we are informed of this AFTER we have already purchased a vehicle for her to drive. So YAY for MS- now she is one of the rare and elite teenagers who have two vehicles at her disposal. Ugh. Now comes the issue with insurance. We insure her on our end for the jaw dropping –eye popping astounding amount of $1100 per year (why do I feel like I have just been violated?) And so I presume that they (Sybil and her agents) will be doing the same??? Hmmmm. Seems pretty silly huh? I’m checking with our agent to find out if there is a ‘partial placement’ discount. I’m guessing NOT.

Is it wrong of me to think the Sybil and her parents did this intentionally? Yes…there really ARE dumb questions.