Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The 12 days of a Sybil filled Christmas

On the 1st day or Christmas, thy Sybil gave to me- a hint that she’s either getting remarried to the latest victim or a job because she’ll have insurance coverage for the girls for the first time EVA!!!

On the 2nd day of Christmas, thy Sybil gave to me- a load of crap about Norm trying to ‘manipulate the court order’ - how does one do that anyway- it’s clear as a freaking bell?

On the 3rd day of Christmas, thy Sybil gave to me- a little peace and quiet…she backed off when Norm FINALLY defended himself and basically told her that the girls are ‘telling her what they think she wants to hear’ regardless if it’s true or not AND that he was going to be discussing this with the therapists because he’s tired of the manipulation from the girls. WOO HOO-GO NORM!

On the 4th day of Christmas, thy Sybil gave to me- a request to take the girls on vacation to Disney over Christmas Break???? How very intersting seeing as:
a) She has NEVER taken the girls on a major vacation before
b) This comes less than 6 months after we took the girls to Disney for a week. Coincidence???
c) She has no money so her new boyfriend must be taking them- poor sucker!
d) She mentioned getting insurance and we doubt VERY highly she’s actually getting a job- could this be a wedding trip? We heard her boyfriend was bringing a friend…possibly a best man or witness??? Hmmmmmm.

On the 5th day of Christmas, thy Sybil gave to me- a no show at the meeting with the girls therapists. What could be more important than discussing the mental health of her daughters? Ah, it was good she didn’t show- the therapists shared some really great feedback that the girls are adjusting very well in our home and that it would be a good time to implement some chores to help the girls feel more like the home is theirs too. Tee he he.

On the 6th day of Christmas thy Sybil gave to me- lack of accountability. THERE’S A BIG SURPRISE! So the CS order never got implemented. We’ve been trying to get this resolved for weeks and asked Sybil to look into it too seeing as it’s a total pain in her ass to go to the bank every other week (if we’re lucky) to get a cachiers check for the overage she’s receiving. Think she can lift a finger to look into this since she doesn’t work? No f’en way.

On the 7th day of Christmas, thy Sybil gave to me- cooperation in regard to the girls Christmas presents in that she would make sure no one else got them the same thing we did. Huh.

On the 8th day of Christmas, thy Sybil gave to me- the itinerary for their trip to Disney. Apparently they’re taking their cousin too- she’s a little demon…sound like a BLAST.

On the 9th day of Christmas, thy Sybil gave to me- a rumor that she’s breaking up with the guy fronting the bill for the Disney trip- when they come back. It’s just a RUMOR…but right up her alley.

On the 10th day of Christmas, thy Sybil gave to me- a possible match made in heaven? Some background: during Custody Battle 2- Sybil hired a ‘friend/parent/acquantence’ who was an attorney to represent her. This woman also represented Sybil’s sister during her nasty, false accusation filled divorce. It ended up rather poorly for the attorney with both as Sybil’s sister never paid her and so she slapped a judgement on her. Then Sybil refused to pay her too and she slapped a judgement on Sybil as well. The atty screwed up on Sybils sisters appeal and the judge dismissed her judgement. This attorney is still after Sybil for a pretty penny AND she just filed another motion against Sybil for contempt…wonder what that’s about. I believe Sybil has finally met her match- her former ‘friend/parent/acquantence’ attorney wants to make her pay and has the time and legal expertise to do it. I look forward to watching this one shake out.

On the 11th day of Christmas, thy Sybil gave to me- ATTEMPTED INSURANCE FRAUD???? Found out she tried claiming some medical bills on her former husbands health insurance well after the divorce was finalized. It was very intentional- the treatment occurred months and months after the divorce. It was denied but there will be no punishment for her. She’ll get away with it no doubt- she always does.

And finally on the 12th day of Christmas, thy Sybil gave to me- one final lie before the New Year that puts her in contempt. She got the child support on the 9th of December and was supposed to reimburse us ‘immediately’- which to her means 2 weeks. Norm called her on December 23rd asking why he didn’t have it yet and she said she’d drop a check off later that day. Nothing. Then she left for Disney so we still have not gotten it. That’s 3 weeks she’s had Norm’s money, during Christmas- the most expesive time of the year and now she owes for the pmt she received in later December. Awesome.

Friday, November 28, 2008

I have to laugh

So the nasty grams have been flying back and forth between Sybil and Norm (a.k.a. ME) and in an attempt to be more accommodating we asked her LAST MONTH if she wanted to switch the ‘school break’ drop off time from 5 to 5:30 (so on days when there isn’t school she drops them off at 5 p.m. instead of them coming home after school..) She typically calls around 5 to say she’s running late and drops them off at more like 5:20 so we offered to change it to 5:30 for her.

Now last week- a month later she’s pitches a fit because in the e-mail we made her sound like she’s running late all the time when “in fact she is NEVER late and she calls to change the time not to tell us she’s running late.” Hmmmm sounds like late to me. So we responded- never mind- we were just trying to be nice but you seemed to have missed that.

I shit you not – Wednesday she was supposed to drop the girls off at 5:00 and she dropped them off at 5:20 without even a phone call. We sat around waiting to go to Grandma’s for Thanksgiving dinner until they got there. I just have to laugh because if I don’t, I’ll go mad. She's so awesome.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Sybil Saga (part III)

Prior to our discovery of Sybil and Mark’s trouble in paradise, Norm and Sybil attended court ordered co-parenting counseling which went absolutely nowhere since Sybil refused to take any responsibility for her "poor" decisions and less that appropriate behavior. The counselor pulled the plug when Sybil sent a nasty e-mail to her manager stating that the counselor was biased and stated that she did not have the girls best interests in mind when she was making her recommendations. There was no follow through on the rest of the court order which was designed to increase Norm’s placement with his girls since it hinged on Sybil and Norm's co-parent counselor making recommendations. The girls were barely attending school at all due to Sybil’s Munchausen by Proxy characteristics but the county was already heavily involved (with a thick blanket of wool pulled over their eyes) so our hands were pretty much tied. Essentially Norm and I felt there was nothing more we could do unless the county got some balls and threatened to take the girls from Sybil or she was institutionalized.

Our delight with the trouble in paradise faded slowly when we discovered that Sybil and Mark were ‘working it out’. He had moved out in the interim but they were going to therapy and ‘dating’ again. They had two children together so they were both fighting to keep the marriage together for the sake of the kids. Eventually he moved back in and they stuck it out for another year and half and as a result, we threw in the towel.

One beautiful Sunday morning in the Spring of last year we got a phone call- it was Mark's dad. A very wealthy man- the CEO of the company Mark worked for- we had heard all the stories from the girls about “grandpa Mark Sr.” and how he had a dozen collector cars, a lake house, boats and how wonderful he was. Blah blah blah PUKE. He told Norm that Mark and Sybil were finished and how she was attempting to get a restraining order on Mark based completely on lies. He wanted to meet with us to possibly provide information on Sybil that could help us get the girls. Norm informed him that we probably weren’t interested, we had gotten past the defeat, we let it go and had come to terms with the fact that the girls’ fate was no longer in our hands and probably too far gone anyway. Mark and Mark Sr.’s financial and emotional support was a large part of the reason we lost previously so were a bit bitter to say the least. We had a feeling they wanted something from us too but we couldn’t imagine what.

Norm and I chewed on it for about a week. We thought about how much school the girls were missing, how little he had them- roughly 72 hours a month when he was supposed to have almost half placement, how “this time” she wouldn’t have the Mark Empire behind her and she would be at battle with them and us at the same time. It felt like for the first time…the stars were starting to align and they were certainly in our favor. We called Mark Sr. back and agreed to meet with them with more than a little apprehension.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Letting Go

I spent a week out west for a conference which happened to be in the same city where my sister lives so I stayed with her to save the company a few bucks. I ended up staying over the weekend to hang out with her and we convinced my other sister to come out too and make it a girls weekend.

I shared with them my frustrations –which they are all too familiar with – but I shared (aka bitched) none the less about Sybil and Norm and MN and MS. Both my sisters are stepmoms, neither of their situation is even close to half as bad as mine honestly. They’re sympathetic. They’ve never spent a dime on an attorney much less stepped foot in a court room. They’ve had their share of bullsh!t though.

I brought up the conflict avoidance that Norm has and how I really somewhat feel like I’m getting completely intolerant of it. How he won’t stand up to her and it drives me nuts. They are both smart woman- older and wiser to some extent so I listened carefully to their advice. One piece of advice they gave, although I would LOVE to follow- I will not and that was to address the issues with her myself. She has already told Norm that she will no longer read my e-mails for whatever lame ass excuse she concocted. If I were to call her she would just hang up. Essentially, she is scared of me. She doesn’t like it that I state the facts- truly I keep them simple, straight forward and leave all emotion at the door. She is so delusional that she cannot tell the difference between fact and fiction so that’s part of the issue. I can simply e-mail her:

“Hello Sybil,
You had emailed us last week that you would drop of a check for $x on Wednesday and you did not. Please advise when you will be dropping it off. The court order states on page 2 paragraph 1 “ excess funds will be returned to the respondent immediately”. Please comply. Thank you.”

This to her is an attacking harassing e-mail and she will not stand for it any longer and thus will not even read my e-mails. Then she will boldly lie that her bank’s online banking was down on Tuesday so she couldn’t verify the funds were there to write a check and when she called the bank to verify it that the phones were down. Right.

So confronting her myself is really just pretty much out of the question I think.

The second piece of advice they gave was to let it go. She is not my problem, she is his. If he chooses not to deal with her behavior, the consequences will be his. Let go. Let go of the control and let go of the vested interest. The biggest issue with this is that the consequences will not just be his. Our finances are combined so when she does not comply, it affects our finances. I cannot and will not separate my finances to assist in the ‘letting go’ process. That’s ridiculous.

Next, to an extent, we need her to comply with other requests based on the court order etc. Vacations, Doctors appointments, modifications to the schedule need to be approved by her and all those things DIRECTLY impact me. When she does not respond to him in a timely manner she affects me and my son. How does one let go of something that directly impacts them just because it’s (to a certain extent) out of their control???
My mathematical answer to that is to try to remove the part of the equation that is causing a negative impact. To remove Sybil is to remove the girls, a piece of the equation we fought much too hard and much too long to acquire-which leads me back to the beginning. I can feel the insanity starting to creep in, the absence of rational thought. Sybil is contagious and the cure is years away.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Conflict Avoidance

Probably the single most frustrating aspect of my marriage.

Norm is a good man, descent and kind. He’s a great parent, fun, smart, funny, loving, supportive, encouraging, just, fair, stern when needed…you name it. He’s a busy busy guy though. He tends to bite off more than he can chew- so other aspects of his life pay the price. You could say his life lacks a bit of balance. His biggest flaw by far is that he has serious conflict avoidance issues. Mainly and ESPECIALLY when it comes to Sybil. It all started back when they were married.

Here’s a scenario: Sybil fears germs which causes her to scrub the house from top to bottom morning and night. It starts to affect their relationship so Norm says- please Sybil stop. Germs are not that bad. They are not something to be feared. Sybil proceeds to pull out every piece of evidence to prove to Norm how bad germs are. Norm contradicts the evidence with his own. Sybil states his evidence is wrong, hers is right and they argue. Sybil will not back down ever and then proceeds to purchase a $5000 vacuum that sucks up every piece of dust in the house when they are living on a small single income (because Sybil can’t work because she needs to sanitize the house all day.) Norm throws his hands up. This is one of fifty million examples of what occurred in their marriage

Fast forward to 2001 and instead of the argument being about germs it’s about home-schooling MS because her teacher was (supposedly) mean to her, called her names, hit her and pushed her down a flight of stairs. There were of course no witnesses and the teacher has no complaints against her...AT ALL. All the other kids lover her. The investigator found no grounds for charges and it was dropped by child protective services for ‘no basis.’ MS was diagnosed with separation anxiety (with her mother) and was throwing 16 fits when mom would try to take her to school. 40 some days absent later (seriously- I can’t make this shit up) and Sybil gets the bright idea to home-school without even consulting Norm. Sybil barely graduated high school and has ZERO follow through with just about everything. Norm finds out about the home-schooling and he basically just shakes his head and tells Sybil he doesn’t think it’s a good idea. I nudged and said “are you kidding- you’re just going to allow her to do this!” His response “She’s irrational, I can’t argue with her, it won’t get me anywhere.”

I dug out his divorce decree – pointed to where it said “Joint Custody”- pulled out the definition of joint custody in the state statues where it has the section that pertains to school and decision making and said “She is breaking the law. You need to stop this.” He still did nothing- never called her out on her behavior, never told her she was out of line, nothing. At least not for another few years when MS was tested and tested 2 full years behind in school and Sybil was home schooling MN as well because “it’s only fair.” Can’t let MS stay home and play all day and make MN go to school, right? Actually she came up with some bullshit diagnosis on her own- MS had post traumatic stress disorder and MN was associating herself with MS’s condition….uhhhh yeah right whatever.

Fast forward again to today. Sybil proceeds to bash me in an e-mail, lie BOLDFACE about something so easy to verify it’s madness (which we did and we confirm she lied) and blame Norm for not communicating when she’s the one who’s dropping the ball. Norm’s response to her is basically “thank you for doing A, I’ll take care of B, let me know about C and I’ll let you know about D.” NOTHING about calling her out on her behavior and obvious LIES, nothing about ‘Stepmonster is not …, you must be confused.’ No defending himself, nothing. NOTHING

It deeply saddens me and confuses me about this man I love so much………who clearly needs a new set. (He already knows how I feel about this to the fullest extent and refuses to take anything I suggest into consideration which infuriates me even further.)

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Maybe a lot of background on Sybil (part II)

So where was I, …ah yes trouble in paradise. Now Mark seemed like a decent guy at first but the more supportive- emotionally and financially of Sybil he was, the less we “liked” him despite the fact that everyone who knew of him thought he was just “the nicest guy” …puke. Sybil was so blatantly hosing Norm and his rights as a father, never giving him a chance, leaving him sitting at the drop off point, ignoring his calls, breaking the court order left and right and falsely accusing him of some seriously heinous stuff with no basis what so ever and ZERO evidence. It was Parental Alienation all the way and then some. Mark just went right along with it and occasionally participated. Makes me ill just thinking about it and thinking back I just wanted to smash his face in because I knew he wasn’t psycho like her, he was just pussy whipped or something. I was SO tempted to call him up and meet him out for a beer and ask him WHAT THE F*CK? But I didn’t.

Back during the first custody battle we had a court ordered overnight and the girls ‘ran away’ (we later found out that Sybil gave MS her cell phone and told them to go hide out in the woods and they wouldn’t have to stay over- awesome huh?) So we came over to ‘help look for them.’ Mark and Sybil’s father showed up and ordered us off the property. There was an argument and we left. Amazingly enough the girls turned up less than a half hour later. The next morning Norm’s mother (lives around the corner), Norm and I all woke up to slashed tires, all three cars- all four tires. We were POSITIVE Sybil’s father did it but figured Mark helped. (Sybil’s father has stalked me a bit in the past as well as physically assaulted Norm- so that was right up his alley… he’s a real winner!)

I remember the day we had heard through the grapevine that there was trouble in paradise. Our attorney (who’s children we’ve essentially put through college over the past 6 years) told us there was a police report filed by Sybil against Mark and I just couldn’t help myself. Norm and I were in the neighborhood of the court house (our second home) so we stopped to check it out since it was public record. Reading that report was one of the better moments of my life. She accused him of pushing her into a table. According to the report they got into a fight and he pushed her. She made the statement that ‘he’s been physically and emotionally hurting her for years.” Norm and I read it together smiling with glee like it was Christmas morning and we had gotten a brand new BB gun. The records attendant looked at us a bit odd when we both got up and started dancing. It was basically our golden ticket. A ‘potential’ significant change in circumstances and a window that was cracked open for us to save the girls. It was a second chance.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

In the line of fire

So Sybil called Norm on a warpath mainly because she knows she’s been totally dropping the ball on the contacts/glasses thing, feels only about an ounce of the inadequacy she should be feeling and is, in turn, lashing out at Norm. What a bitch. He is no longer her whipping boy. I just wish he’d defend himself (and me for that matter) with a little more whoop ass.

She then proceeds to pull the old ‘it’s your fault’ card out by stating verbally and via an e-mail that Norms lack of communication is the reason MS hasn’t gotten the contacts yet. Unreal. She is so totally and completely delusional. Norm and I both have e-mailed and called about this only for her to drop the ball over and over. She is too busy working on her next victim to focus on her kids and their health. See right now, them needing health care is an inconvenience. Normally it’s the highlight of her day, especially if it’s something that she can put even the slightest serious spin on. She feeds on the attention of have sick children to the point that it’s very dangerous…but that’s to be ‘outed in detail’ on another day. I’m too tired and ticked off to type about it now.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

A little background on Sybil (part I)

The reason I call her Sybil is #1 when she was younger she sorta looked like Sally Field. #2 She is absolutely psychotic. I’m not just saying that. She fits the mold for Borderline Personality Disorder to a T – similar to the multiple personality disorder like in the movie Sybil so it’s a good name for her and there are definite similarities. Norm ignored the blazing red flags when they were dating – the hypochondria symptoms, the vainness, the OCD, the “save me!”, “be my hero!” cries. She a complex creature, definitely hard to figure out and ‘see through’ so I don’t blame Norm for wanting to be her hero.

The root of Sybil’s dysfunction truly lies with her parents and some of that dysfunction sadly, has been passed onto the girls. Sybil’s parents are spawns of the devil…seriously. They are some of the scariest people I’ve ever met. They are second or third cousins, knew it before they got married and married anyway. They both came from nice families and they both happen to be the black sheep or bad apple of the family. They had three children, Sybil is the oldest I believe, she has a younger sister who is actually worse than her (more vindictive and overall hateful) and a brother who is basically harmless but is the male version of a gold digger.

The five of them are known as a clan. They destroy everything they touch and despise anyone who disagrees with them and their methods of madness. They have no real friends, none of them. They use people for financial gain and typically when the one being used figures it out, the clan is dropped like a hot potato. Laziness is a common theme among the clan. Sybil has no job and never really cared to be productive other than reproducing for the clan. She is pretty and has used that to get men to care for her and now for her children. Sybil’s sister lived with her parents for over 10 years after high school while she obtained a degree in nursing. She took roughly two classes a semester and didn’t work. When she finally got her degree she took a job as a nurse and claimed to have gotten injured to the point of having a disability on the job in which she collects disability for. Although she has had no problem bearing children and picking them up well into their childhood during that time. Sybil’s brother is known as the laziest fireman in the firehouse. Has married wealthy women twice before and is married a third time which will probably end in either divorce or death. His new wife is a detective and apparently trigger happy; we think she’s just going to shoot him one of these days.

Sybil is now living with her parents (in their basement apartment thingie where her sister lived a short time ago), has 4 children (Norm’s 2 girls) and a boy and girl from her second husband- we’ll call him Mark (cuz he was her mark/target when she left Norm.) When she left Norm he was fairly certain she was seeing someone else. We suspected Mark because they got married 6 months and 1 week after her and Norm’s divorce were final (State statues require a 6 month delay in remarriage after a divorce is final, what a coincidence) Anyway, he was wealthy, worked for the family business and totally adored Sybil in high school. He was recently divorced when they hooked back up so it was a match made in heaven. Mark was the financial power house behind the first custody battle we fought so we didn’t like Mark very much. Add to it that he bought Sybil a big beautiful house, a big sparkly ring and spoiled her rotten which ensured she didn’t have to work.

We suspected there was trouble in paradise after the first custody battle but couldn’t be sure. We had heard he was accused of hitting her and moved out, moved back in and then they called it quits. He filed for divorce and she filed a restraining order. We didn’t believe for a second that he hit her. Sybil is the queen of false allegations as we had been victims of her delusional allegations for years prior. She was just playing her cards in the game of divorce and she new she had a serious card player at the table and there was a lot at stake since Mark had money. When Sybil & Norm got divorced, Norm just folded and walked away so she didn’t really need to play her games.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Putting a stop to the clothing 'issue'

Took the girls shopping this weekend at a local outlet mall since the child support adjustment has sort-of gone through. Sybil is reimbursing us until it officially changes with the state/county/whomever. We almost fell over when she dropped that check off but I digress. Not that they didn’t have plenty of clothing but I’ll admit they didn’t have as much as they should. Sybil has spoiled them to the point of no return so they don’t expect any limitations to their expenditures. I realized that rather quickly on a shopping trip last spring when they both proceeded to put $10 underwear in the cart.

I told them if they could manage to get 5 full ‘winter’ outfits with $200 they would a $100 bonus to spend on whatever they wanted –clothing related (shoes, fancy underwear, whatever.) Don’t even ask me why MN needs fancy underwear because I am baffled and a little sick to my stomach about it.

MN was hardest to shop for because she’s 12 and wants to wear Juniors clothing and she’s tiny- like a size 10 or 12 in dresses and jeans. Trying to find a pair of “skinny’ low rise jeans (which are the only ones she’ll wear) in the kids section is next to impossible. I had some luck at Old Navy but those weren’t ‘cool.’ So in Juniors she’d be like a size 00, which barely exists. Why don’t they just go into the negative in sizes? I think we had some success at like Rue 21 or Pac Sun…thank the LORD because if we had gone a whole day shopping with her coming back with a few t-shirts I think I would have lost it.

Overall the trip was successful and I’m really proud of how conscientious they were with their budget. I think their math skills improved a bit too because there were a lot of sales for them to calculate the % off. We of course then had to have “the discussion” about how they need to make an effort to keep the clothing from us and from their mom straight. For example, they had their mom drop off a bag of clothes that they wore on Thursday and Friday then they wore one of their new outfits to school on Monday. They fully expect to pick the clothes up that their mom dropped off for them whereby keeping the ones from our house and taking the ones from their mom’s. So on Wednesday night when they come again (BTW- we get them every Wed & Thursday overnight and every other Friday-Monday) they’ll probably be wearing something from their mom’s but that outfit they wore on Monday is still over with their mom. They’ll wear another new outfit from us when they leave on Friday and leave the outfit from their mom’s (maybe or pick it up) which is where we will loose outfit #2, so on and so forth. Seriously, they would think this is okay. They’ve done it already. We’re missing a lot of their stuff and it’s hard to keep track.

So we made the rule this weekend that they are no longer allowed to have their mom drop off outfits. They need to manage the situation on their own. Sybil is enabling this behavior and it needs to stop. I can understand if it’s for something special like a dress or something but the day to day stuff needs to stop. They have plenty of clothing and they need to make due with what they have. Hopefully this weekend will have assisted in stopping the madness. We shall see.

Friday, October 24, 2008

What I sent:
Norm received his pay stub and it's showing that you're getting the full amount (Child Support) again. Once you receive the $, can you please provide Norm a check for the difference which is $X00.01, it would be greatly appreciated. Please let us know if there is an issue.

Also, Norm still has not heard back from you regarding MS's contacts and glasses and how you want to proceed. He was hoping to hear back from you so we can finally get this taken care of. I feel bad for her that she's still struggling to see at school. I went ahead and rescheduled an appointment for her to get her contacts because I didn't feel it was fair to MS to wait any longer. They have openings on Tuesday but since that's when you have them I did not know if you had any availability so I scheduled her for next Thursday at 10 a.m. This is not convenient for us because I work and Norm is roofing but it was the soonest I could get her in. If you can take her on Tuesday it would be better (they have availability between 3-5p.m). so she doesn't need to miss school.

Also at the very least she will need glasses. Norm was also waiting for your response to order her glasses. If we go with the ones online they take about a week to get so please respond so we can get your approval in writing and order them. Again they run about $50 total including shipping. I'm not sure why you haven't responded as I understand you have been checking your e-mail but I would think you would be eager to address this since you seemed rather concerned about getting them in for the appointments.

On a side note, I understand the girls brought over another bag of clothing from your house. We would appreciate it if you would discourage them from doing this and we will as well. It just makes it harder for them to get the clothing back and forth. We are taking them shopping this weekend again so hopefully they will get clothing they will actually wear. They have plenty of clothing as I said. We have taken them shopping many times and occasionally they come back with nothing or very little so I hope that will not be the case again.

What I wanted to send:
Tomorrow you will be getting $x and although you deserve $0, legally you're still entitled to $X, please drop off a money order or cashier’s check for the difference (which is $x since I know math is tough for you) immediately following the deposit into your account before it goes negative and you can't make a withdrawal. You're personal rubber checks are not worth the ink used to print them.

Why the F*ck are you ignoring the e-mail that YOU asked for you psycho b!tch from hell! Your idiosyncrasies are really starting to piss me off. We paid for the contacts already- are you really too busy whoring around to take your precious perfect daughter to the follow-up? We're ordering the glasses and I'm glad you will have no say in what they look like.

You've messed up your girls’ brains so much that they think the only brand of clothing they can wear is Abercrombie... good luck keeping up with standard of living when your sugardaddy drops you on your nasty boney bootie. Have a sh!tty weekend.


Torn about how to feel about the girls hiding in their room all night, the "clothing situation" and their other random behavior. I know it's somewhat normal for teenagers to dissociate themselves from their parental units. Add to it that they have cable and internet access in their room. Part of me thinks they should be around us more. The placement change happened less than a year ago and this could be a coping mechanism or just normal behavior. They’ve been brainwashed to despise us so I get that they aren’t going to jump at the opportunity hang with us. I’m a bit at a loss as to what’s “normal” with teenagers.

The clothing issue drives me up the f-ing wall, across the ceiling and back down again. It shouldn’t. I am fully aware of this. I totally ‘get it’ that I am overly pissy about the fact that both of them have gobs of clothing at our house yet insist on shuttling clothing from their mom’s back and forth. We’ve spent hundreds on clothing for them and they don’t wear any of it. Clothing THEY picked out. They continue to complain to Sybil that they have none at our house. Why? I’m sick of asking them. We’re taking them shopping this weekend for what? More clothing they WON”T WEAR? My eye is starting to twitch…I need to drop this.

Random behavior especially from Mini-Sybil is baffling to me. They get up at the last minute to get ready for school. They shower at night so they can sleep longer in the morning. MS gets up and decides that she want to curl her hair. Now this may seem minor but I assure you it is not. Curling this girls hair is a full hour task. Her hair is stick straight, thick as molasses and half way down her back. It’s gorgeous and impossible to curl in the 5 minutes she allots herself to get ready in the morning. So, of course, they are running late this a.m. and she’s getting mad because she doesn’t have enough time to finish it. Hmmm…where’s the common sense? Probably out by the curb where she left her forethought. Poor thing is just absent sometimes.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Poking the Monster

So Tuesday night, Norm says that the girls want to go to the football game on Wed nite - it's the last one of the season. I reminded him that we all had dance- we belong to an ethnic dance group that meets twice a month to practice. Norm and I teach, the girls and Norster all dance. He remembered but was still leaning toward letting them go since it was the last game of the season and they go to all of them, plus they actually called to ASK if they could go the day before. (Whoopidy freaking do da.) Never mind the fact that MN is only 12 and shouldn't really be hanging with her older sister at a high school football games, but I digress.

Norm and I talk about it yesterday and that we will need to drive them all the way down to the game (45 minutes South of our house) and then drive all the way out to dance (half hour North East of hour house) to make it to dance by 7. I said, wait a minute, this is an AWAY GAME??? He was like "Yeah." Uncomfortable Silence.

I wasn't real happy with the situation for several reasons. 1- thier grades stink, 2 it's a school night, 3 he was letting them bail on an obligation they had, to go "watch" a game they don't understand (so they can hang out with their friends.) 4- it was totally out of our way to take them and would mean we'd have to leave right when we got home in order to make dance on time and wouldn't get home until late which meant Norster wouldn't get to bed until about an hour after his bedtime. The entire situation STUNK from the word go.

The stench just got worse as the night progressed. Norm wanted to look up their school progress prior to letting them go when we got home from work so we got out late. There was no time to eat dinner so we stopped at McD's so I ended up with a stomach ache the rest of the night. We ended up being 30 minutes late for dance. When we went to pick them up from the game they asked if we could give a friend a ride home- didn't have any more room in the car so they asked if we could wait until her dad came to get her. 30 full minutes late her dad finally shows and we don't get home until LATE. I was NOT HAPPY to say the least and tried my best to bite my tongue. Norm just can't quite understand why I'm upset...

Numero Uno

Should have started this many years ago when I first entered the life of Step Monsterhood. I never kept a diary but I have a pretty good memory so I can plug it all in here.I married a man with two beautiful girls, at the time they were 3 and 6, sweet and innocent. I can't say he didn't warn me. He told me his ex was nuts, but they all say that right? I mean, I said my ex was nuts, but in reality he was just immature and a little on the obnoxious side. That's really about it. Mentally he was pretty stable but we parted ways rather quickly anyway after I realized shortly after the wedding that the fighting wasn't going to stop, ever.

So here I am almost ten years later and trying to find that special little place in the step-parenting world we all seek...sanity. The girls are now 12 and 15 and we have shared placement (for those of you unfamiliar with the term- it means we have them in our home living with us 50% of the time.) Things are...(on a scale of 1 being bad and 10 being awesome) about a 5, maybe a 4 or 6 depending on the day and the chaos and drama surrounding that day. Silly, silly me thought it'd be about an 8 or 9 but maybe I had my hopes up too high, or too much faith or too much ignorance...can't quite put my finger on it just yet but I'll let you know when I do.

Over the last -lets just say 10 years cuz it sounds better- it's been rough. 2 major custody battles, psych evaluations, false accusations of every type of abuse you can imagine, 10 different therapists/shrinks (not for me ;), a few ulcers and tens of thousands of dollars spent on legal fees boil down to nothing more than the ability to say "we did everything we could." Did we WIN??? Yes and No. But we are certainly paying a dear price for whatever it is that we won.