Thursday, October 23, 2008

Numero Uno

Should have started this many years ago when I first entered the life of Step Monsterhood. I never kept a diary but I have a pretty good memory so I can plug it all in here.I married a man with two beautiful girls, at the time they were 3 and 6, sweet and innocent. I can't say he didn't warn me. He told me his ex was nuts, but they all say that right? I mean, I said my ex was nuts, but in reality he was just immature and a little on the obnoxious side. That's really about it. Mentally he was pretty stable but we parted ways rather quickly anyway after I realized shortly after the wedding that the fighting wasn't going to stop, ever.

So here I am almost ten years later and trying to find that special little place in the step-parenting world we all seek...sanity. The girls are now 12 and 15 and we have shared placement (for those of you unfamiliar with the term- it means we have them in our home living with us 50% of the time.) Things are...(on a scale of 1 being bad and 10 being awesome) about a 5, maybe a 4 or 6 depending on the day and the chaos and drama surrounding that day. Silly, silly me thought it'd be about an 8 or 9 but maybe I had my hopes up too high, or too much faith or too much ignorance...can't quite put my finger on it just yet but I'll let you know when I do.

Over the last -lets just say 10 years cuz it sounds better- it's been rough. 2 major custody battles, psych evaluations, false accusations of every type of abuse you can imagine, 10 different therapists/shrinks (not for me ;), a few ulcers and tens of thousands of dollars spent on legal fees boil down to nothing more than the ability to say "we did everything we could." Did we WIN??? Yes and No. But we are certainly paying a dear price for whatever it is that we won.

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