I should just get 'SUCKER' tatooed on my forehead :-(

But have I learned a lesson from it? ABSOLUTELY. I will NEVER AGAIN just hand cash over to MN and MS with the task to go pick out some decent and affordable summer clothes.

Over the course of the past year of FINALLY having the girls shared placement we have dedicated a healthy amount of time toward teaching them the much needed skill of spending wisely and being very cost conscious. Sybil marries men for money and when she milks them dry she leaves them for someone that has more. It's a simple fact at this point so I won't beat around the bush. The girls have learned from watching her over the years and know nothing of financial limitations, budgets or restrictions. It's amazing how fast they can burn through cash. I recall the first time I took them seriously shopping. They would bring me something and say "can I get this?" and I would respond "How much is it?" And they had no idea and didn't think it mattered or was important. Since then we give them guidelines - $15-$20 for a pair of jeans is reasonable, $50 is not (unless they shrink your thighs, turn your ass into a 'happen'en onion' and make you look 2 sizes smaller - then price is no object but they don't need to know that.) ALWAYS ALWAYS go to the clearance rack first and work your way out of the store. T.J. Maxx., Marshall's, Ross etc. are your friends and Abercrombie is only for when you have a gift card. We don't have a budget for full price brand names so neither do they.

As I stated, over the past year they were getting a lot better. Making the right decisions....UNTIL.....I trusted them with $300 in cash ($150 a piece) to get summer clothes last weekend. We were crazy busy and I didn't have time to take them. I told them "Here you go, be wise, and make it stretch."

They mentioned a few things they got when we crossed paths the next day. "Oh I got some skirts (MS is in a short flirty skirt streak) and MN got some jeans." I was like "What?" she giggles and I figured I must have misunderstood. The next morning they're getting ready for school and sure shit MN has new frayed/worn look ABERCROMBIE jeans on that she rolled up mid calf. I was like- "Those your new jeans?" She's like "yeah you like em?" I said- "That's not summer clothes- how much do you have left?"...she responds "I dunno." as they scurry out the door.

I AM FREAKING TICKED. So I dart up to their bedroom, all the bags sitting there empty- not a price tag or receipt to be found. They are back to square one with me now. I need to babysit their every freaking purchase now. What a huge disappointment.
GRRRRRR…….NEVER AGAIN.

3 Freaks, 2 cars, 1 stepdaughter...Priceless

In an email back in late January after being asked if she was willing to go in on a car for MS, Sybil stated that she could not afford to. Then when being asked if her parents (psychotic- overindulging freaks) were giving or buying MS a car she said ‘No’. MS may be able to drive one of theirs for after school stuff but that’s it.

So, we proceeded to search for a reasonable and dependable vehicle for MS, found one, bought it and told her that it was our car but she would be using it to get back and forth from school etc. while she was with us. Since it was in our name, we couldn’t very well let her use it when she wasn’t under our supervision (Sybil lets her do just about anything she wants.) So we decided we just can’t expose ourselves to that type of liability issue.

So Sybil’s psycho parents have given her a car to use all the time-even while she’s with us. Interesting how we are informed of this AFTER we have already purchased a vehicle for her to drive. So YAY for MS- now she is one of the rare and elite teenagers who have two vehicles at her disposal. Ugh. Now comes the issue with insurance. We insure her on our end for the jaw dropping –eye popping astounding amount of $1100 per year (why do I feel like I have just been violated?) And so I presume that they (Sybil and her agents) will be doing the same??? Hmmmm. Seems pretty silly huh? I’m checking with our agent to find out if there is a ‘partial placement’ discount. I’m guessing NOT.

Is it wrong of me to think the Sybil and her parents did this intentionally? Yes…there really ARE dumb questions.

Sybil’s maddening entitlement issues

As a stay at home ‘mom’ –and I use that term very loosely with this woman…one would think Sybil would be a little more appreciative of the fact that Norm has such great health benefits. Now- there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that Sybil needs to stay at home anymore since all her children are in school but that's a whole nother issue. There has been a constant battle since the beginning of Norm and Sybil’s split about uninsured medical expenses- co pays and the excess in which the insurance company doesn’t cover. Which, btw is typically minimal unless of course you’re a serious hypochondriac with Munchausen by proxy tendencies (Sybil to a T). Sybil tends to drag MS and MN to the doctor for every little cough or sniffle…demanding they run tests and take x-rays etc. It has frustrated us beyond reality that we’ve had to pay for half of medical expenses almost solely due to her extreme behavior.

Lately (over the past year or so) to add insult to injury, she has actually complained about the “fact” that she has to pay for half of OUR family deductible. I am quite certain her anti-Christ-like parents have planted this load of crap seed in her puny brain because everyone knows she’s not smart enough to have come up with this on her own. The irony about the situation is this – out of the 5 individuals of OUR family that the deductible covers- MS and MN go to the doctor the most. Me, Norm and Normonster are rarely sick much less go to the Dr. It only makes sense that she’s going to be paying for half of the deductible since she drags them to the Dr all the time.

Looking at the big picture- she should be so grateful that Norm’s insurance coverage is still so good. She should feel pretty f-ing lucky he has a job at all in this economy to support her lazy ass. Instead she has to bitch and wine that she’s getting the short end of the stick. This is just ONE little teeny tiny example of how she feels entitled and like the world and especially MY HUSBAND owes her.

I want to be JUST LIKE HER when I grow up. ((((shudder))))

Mini-Sybil and the act of Sexting

We received a call last Sunday from the father of a boy who was apparently Sexting with MS. Many of the ‘messages’ involved pictures. (Blech- I reviewed them this morning.) I honestly can’t say I’m surprised in the least. Despite our constant monitoring of her online activity, her cell phone has been a bit more challenging since she deletes all incoming and outgoing messages as soon as possible. Sybil’s parents are the cell phone providers so we can’t destroy them or cancel them and once she leaves our home it is immediately given back to her despite her behavior (I am certain the most recent behavior will have no impact on this ritual either.)

Sadly, she is mimicking her mother’s behavior almost to the letter. Last Summer- through MS’s Myspace we discovered she had access to her mother’s boyfriend’s MySpace account (follow me there?). His account had a buffet of inappropriate content much of which involved her own mother. Since Sybil is absolutely worshiped by her daughters, especially MS, it was pretty much inevitable that she would follow in her footsteps with the grand desire to “be like Mom.” That, has now come to fruition.

The boy’s parents are none too happy with him, and want to meet so that he can apologize to us. MS will be mortified…as she should be. Should be an interesting weekend.

I’m going to go though up now.

In the line of fire

So Sybil called Norm on a warpath mainly because she knows she’s been totally dropping the ball on the contacts/glasses thing, feels only about an ounce of the inadequacy she should be feeling and is, in turn, lashing out at Norm. What a bitch. He is no longer her whipping boy. I just wish he’d defend himself (and me for that matter) with a little more whoop ass.

She then proceeds to pull the old ‘it’s your fault’ card out by stating verbally and via an e-mail that Norms lack of communication is the reason MS hasn’t gotten the contacts yet. Unreal. She is so totally and completely delusional. Norm and I both have e-mailed and called about this only for her to drop the ball over and over. She is too busy working on her next victim to focus on her kids and their health. See right now, them needing health care is an inconvenience. Normally it’s the highlight of her day, especially if it’s something that she can put even the slightest serious spin on. She feeds on the attention of have sick children to the point that it’s very dangerous…but that’s to be ‘outed in detail’ on another day. I’m too tired and ticked off to type about it now.

Numero Uno

Should have started this many years ago when I first entered the life of Step Monsterhood. I never kept a diary but I have a pretty good memory so I can plug it all in here.I married a man with two beautiful girls, at the time they were 3 and 6, sweet and innocent. I can't say he didn't warn me. He told me his ex was nuts, but they all say that right? I mean, I said my ex was nuts, but in reality he was just immature and a little on the obnoxious side. That's really about it. Mentally he was pretty stable but we parted ways rather quickly anyway after I realized shortly after the wedding that the fighting wasn't going to stop, ever.

So here I am almost ten years later and trying to find that special little place in the step-parenting world we all seek...sanity. The girls are now 12 and 15 and we have shared placement (for those of you unfamiliar with the term- it means we have them in our home living with us 50% of the time.) Things are...(on a scale of 1 being bad and 10 being awesome) about a 5, maybe a 4 or 6 depending on the day and the chaos and drama surrounding that day. Silly, silly me thought it'd be about an 8 or 9 but maybe I had my hopes up too high, or too much faith or too much ignorance...can't quite put my finger on it just yet but I'll let you know when I do.

Over the last -lets just say 10 years cuz it sounds better- it's been rough. 2 major custody battles, psych evaluations, false accusations of every type of abuse you can imagine, 10 different therapists/shrinks (not for me ;), a few ulcers and tens of thousands of dollars spent on legal fees boil down to nothing more than the ability to say "we did everything we could." Did we WIN??? Yes and No. But we are certainly paying a dear price for whatever it is that we won.